The Hype Machine: Bulletstorm Pt. 2

Yes a good craftsman Never blames his tools. Luckily for you, Bulletstorm’s ‘Tools’ are top of the Line.

A shooter without guns is like Jaws without the Shark, and Bulletstorm is no Exception. But the thing that makes Bulletstorm’s guns stand out more than any other. Is the fact that there guns, ARE ACTUALLY WMDs! Have you seen this feckers, they must have been on a steady diet of Steroids and Cocaine on Waffles. Its like looking at the offspring of the Hulk and a Colt 45.

So here is a list of the weapons we know are going to be in Bulletstorm, at least this is all for now:

First off you have the PeaceMaker Carbine, or the PMC for short. This is your basic fall back weapon, simple yet effective. However with one simple charge, it can blast out 100 rounds of ammo in one shot. Which sort of melts away the enemies flesh in an instance, leaving a still standing burning skeleton that’s hot enough to light a cigar ”Anyone got a light *BOOM* ohhhh, why thank you Grayson”.

Do you smell something burning??

The Leash is a handy tool when you really want to ‘kill with skill’. It allows you to Whip your enemies into the air, as well as offers a short period of slow motion. Which comes in handy when trying to set up a very elaborate kill. The leash can also be used to activate area affects.

I always wanted a Yo-Yo 🙂

You have the Flail gun, which is quite a ingenious device. Something you’d expect the A-team to invent after they walk into a shed with some; chains, nails and explosives and walk out with this. The gun works by firing two grenades chained together, and you basically can wrap it round an enemy and detonate on que. The amazing thing is that you can chain there legs, and around there neck with stops them to set up a kill. You can also Charge the gun so when it fires it heats the chain, and slices through the enemies before exploding on the other side. Which does come in handy when there’s a bunch of ’em.

Did Mr.T rob ALL of my Chain??

The Screamer is like the Dirty Harry Revolver of the Bulletstorm world. Big, Bad ass and makes such a sweet sound when harmonised with the screams of the enemy your pointing it at. The Gun holds 8 bullets, capable of exploding a head in one shot. But the gun can also act as a Flare gun when charged, which can be used to ignite enemies. Personally I like creating human Fireworks.

You've gotta ask yourself a question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?

The BoneDuster, kinda sounds like the name of a wrestler. This is Bulletstorms A.D.D shotgun, where as most shooters have a one or two barrel shotgun. The Bulletstorm has a 4, count ’em 4 barrel shotgun. The BoneDuster is so powerful that it can be used to push or juggle enemies. Who needs the circus? why not just order yourself a BoneDuster off Amazon, Its Fun for the Whole Family!

THE NEW BONEDUSTER FROM AMAZON (marauders not included)

The Bouncer is a humorous yet deadly weapon. When fired the gun shoots an explosive over sized bouncy ball. However when the gun is charged the ball doesn’t detonate, but  continues bouncing to be moved into position. It can then be detonated to explode on impact, so you don’t want to be a marauder under that thing.

Im all Bounced out

Well this is a list of the ‘tools’ you’ll be using in Bulletstorm, but its not all of them. Its been promised that there will be even more, and as soon as they become apparent you’ll know. But until then you better get practicing, or suffer the insulting obscenities of the delightful and gentlemen like Grayson Hunt.

Bulletstorm: the game where ‘Ass’ is PG-13 and ‘maggot’ is fine, but when you put them together to make ‘ass-maggot’ it suddenly feels R-rated.

Coming Next week

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